Wednesday, October 17, 2012

What They Don't Tell You...

Ben and I had taken Hannah to Chinatown for a little Sunday adventure and we were on our way home when I saw the picture. How wonderful! Our dear friends had given birth to their baby girl! As we drove over the Brooklyn Bridge, Hannah fiddled on her harmonica, and I lost myself to visions of the post birth bliss Ben and I had experienced two years earlier. An invisible bubble encircled us as Hannah turned towards the familiarity of Ben’s voice and so calmly looked into my eyes. It was in those magical first moments that the three of us became a family. 

Back in the car, Hannah struggled to make out the word harmonica and Ben and I fought to keep our excited grins back. Hannah hadn’t been much of a talker and Ben and I, knowing that she understands so much of what we say, have refrained from stressing out about it. It was was wonderful seeing her find her own way to language and ,once again, we were reminded that when you follow your instincts, you are never wrong. “ Hommee Hommee Hommeeca Mommee Mommee mommeeya” she ramble before settling on her final attempt. “Mommeecock! Mommeecock! Mommeeeecock!!!” she cried. Ben burst into laughter. I laughed as well, but within moments my laughter turned to tears. Ben looked over at me with a big question mark.

All everyone ever tells you when you’re pregnant is how hard it’s going to be. That you’re never going to sleep, that you’re going to fight, and that things will never be the same. What nobody ever does, is come up to you to tell you how freaking amazing, ridiculous, reaffirming, how wonderfully hysterical it's all going to be. Yes, being a parent is hard and it's true, nothing will ever be the same. And I have to tell you something, thank goodness for that! 

 As we made our way home a little tired, a little late, the scenery outside the car window changed, but inside, the three of us were exactly where we needed to be. Ben put his hand on my knee, “Why are you crying?” he asked tenderly. I looked out the window, ashamed of my emotional outbreak. “I’m just so freaking happy,” I said, wiping away a tear. I was unbelievably happy for the three of us, for what we've had so far and for what we have to look forward to. I was happy for our friends and the joyous journey in which they were about to embark. Ben held my hand and Hannah chimed in, “Moooomeeeecock!” she declared. Ridiculously happy is what I was.